Anything that happens, happens.

Dear Self,
I think it’s time. Stop. Give up. Relent. Spending an extra half hour every morning putting together elaborate salads with homemade dressing and other health boosting snacks like celery sticks, as well as a fluffy egg white omelet complete with chives, turkey bacon and cheese makes no sense when God and the Baby Jesus gave us mod cons like Starbucks’ with drive through and the internet which gives us the ability to order over priced (I’m looking at you Quizno’s) and have them delivered to your door in less time that it would take you to drive there, order, then come back, even if it is just across the street, which technically is walking distance. And your thoughts about spending a half hour chopping up veggies for your salad in the evening? When exactly would you find this half hour? When you need to complete the 243,251 math problems (hey that comma in the 243,251 -I totally learned to put that there in math class!) assigned as homework every class? When you are trying to get a little quality time with your loving boyfriend & your eternally loyal Besties, the 40inch flat screen and the DVR? The 30 minutes could come from the contemplation time, where you sit on the couch for 30 minutes (or more depending) deciding if you should take a shower, blow dry your hair or do it in the morning and have a glass of wine instead. Because honey, the wine? Always wins. So suck it up, join the masses at the drive through in the morning, and make friends with the delivery guy.

Love,
Your Voice Of Reason

P.S.: You are totally having a good mascara day, (second day in a row too)! I think that the L’Oreal Double Extend “Beauty Tubes” Mascara might be a win. Not only because it came with a $1 off coupon and is $15 cheaper than the Benefit one you really wanted but not enough to make an extra trip to Ulta on Sunday for.

The story so far…

Today’s Goal-Wake early enough to shower, blow dry and style hair. Make lunch of chopped veggie salad with crab, and prepare egg white omelet for breakfast. Get to work between 7:30 and 7:45-which means that I should leave around 7:10. Have a relaxing lunch, then after work head off to class early enough that I get there calm and rested and not frazzled and pissed about traffic and parking. Return home, have leftovers for dinner and then do homework. Finer points to remember: South Beach is going well…on work days. Would be better if I could figure out how to go to the gym with my new schedule. Wishing Lifetime had a location nearer to my office-maybe I could go at lunch. But then again, I can’t take 2 hour lunches and a 45 min workout would require 1 hour 15min of re-grooming to be office ready again. I should mention that I formed the plan around 7pm last night, and I still intended to stick to it at 12:05am when I threw myself in bed even though I was wide awake.

4:30am Officer’s alarm goes off and I BRIEFLY consider getting out of bed, heading to the gym and then returning to get ready for work…the next thing I know however….

6:00am and my alarm is going off. Damn. Snooze.

6:10am. Shoot, too late to get up shower and blow-dry hair. Pony tail day….so maybe more snooze.

6:20am. Hmmm, did take shower last night before crawling into bed in an attempt to relax and soothe aching back without taking pills so close to bed time. Hair not washed, but already resigned self to pony tail. Snooze just a little bit longer…

6:40am. Struggle with slightly too small pantyhose. That’s what I get for buying fancy kind at Target instead of the dollar brand at Wal-Mart that may not look as sleek and shiny-but always fits and goes on easily.

6:45am. Dressed, pony tailed and not so patiently walking dogs. Pantyhose are so tight at the tops of my thighs that they are rubbing together in a fashion that is also rubbing my skin a bit too much. Not sure if fire is about to start or blisters forming. Also, feeling slightly guilty for not taking the dogs on a proper walk. Decide to fix that with cheese and tiny bowls of last nights chicken and dumplings as a supplement to their breakfasts.

6:55am. Back in house decide that I have plenty of time to make salad. After all how hard is chopping veggies. Can do in mere seconds right?

7:10am. Chopping and chopping and chopping…are going to be late if I don’t hurry. Also panty hose will have to be replaced. Cannot go all day at work then to school with this. Still chopping veggies. Oooo almost forgot about the baby beets I thought I’d try!

7:20am. Damn. Am really really late now.

7:25am. In car. With lunch made, yogurt for breakfast instead of egg. No make up on. However not only do I have a freshly made multi veggie salad to enjoy with crab on it…I MADE my own dressing. MUCH better tasting (and I suspect cheaper too).

7:35am. Back in car after whirlwind trip to CVS. Headed towards tollway while putting on makeup. New pantyhose is in purse. Also there is a Starbucks Frappuccino (Dark Chocolate Mocha) and a Cadbury Dairy Milk bar. Not quite sure how resolve failed so fast today but YUM!!

7:40am. Traffic sucks.

7:55am. Well it’s not too bad. I may not be able to meander out the door at 4:45 today, but that’s ok. I’ll at least get to work and get 8 full hours in. Also, I’ll have a nice leisurely lunch in the break room where I can read a book on my iPod.

8:01am Gas light goes on. Damn. There goes my relaxing lunch plans. Must go out to get gas…while out I may as well get the eye shadow I need at Ulta. Which makes lunch somewhat rushed at my desk either before or after I go out AND…somewhat more expensive as trips to Ulta have never cost less than $60. Pull into space in garage at work. And consider putting on mascara and lipstick. Rush into building, smirking at my one stylish accessory since ruining my leather Coach bag…my Coach umbrella. The fact that it’s been raining for the past 4 days is moot considering I finally got some good use out of my umbrella. I consider could feel even better had I paid retail for it, but $90 for an umbrella is insane. I suppose the same could be said about stalking EBay for two weeks to find one for $30 or less is, but I paid $25 for a $90 umbrella so there.

8:04am. Am first to arrive in my department. Which is nice because I opted to finish my makeup when I got to my desk while my laptop boots up for 30 min. Ok it doesn’t take 30 min. It just seems that way.

10:00am. After deciding that perhaps I jumped the gun on the panty hose issue I walk 4 paces over to the next cubicle to discuss something with fellow staff member. While doing so notice that sleek, shiny and stabby panty hose is slipping off my hips thanks to my sleek and shiny girdle. Waddle back to my desk to grab purse and head off to change.

So today isn’t looking great. In fact…I’m tempted to scrap the whole plan, as apparently what they say about best laid plans is true for today. Tomorrow will go better right?

Update:
So my salad that sort of threw me off totally (as I made it KNOWING I was going to CVS instead of straight to the office) contained: Baby Beets (found them at Super Target in the produce section-steamed and peeled) yellow bell pepper, red bell pepper, green bell pepper, cucumber, radish, green onion, spinach and romaine-dressed with minced garlic, minced parsley, minced cliantro, black pepper, lime juice and olive oil. Topped with a can of Lump Crab claws (canned and found near the canned tuna not in the seafood department so still pricey at $6 a can, but cheaper than the $13 for the ‘good’ stuff). Is AWESOME. Totally worth the extra time spent this morning AND I’m getting a few different, highly colorful and good for me veggie in!

My new plan, eat through lunch and leave at 4:30 to get gas then go to school. On my way home I’ll stop at Ulta and get the eyeshadow I need and NOTHING else.

Nothing.

You know what they say about best laid plans!